Top 10 stupid names for hairdressers

There must be something in the water at Crimpers School – half the stylists in the country seem to think they’re writing jokes for Norman Wisdom. You thought Hair Port was bad? Try these...

Hair-o-Dyenamix

382 Ballards Lane, London N12
Not one, not two but three appalling puns in a single name. We love it.

Mane Attraction

19 St John’s Road, Isleworth
One for the pony club, we presume.

Mean Streaks

7a Sevington Street, London W9
70s street styles a speciality.

Hi-de-Hilites

74 Church Road, Mitcham
The home of carry on chopping.

The Beach at Split Ends

655 Fulham Road, London SW6
Innovative combination chop shop and tanning centre betrayed by cringesome choice of moniker.

Hairlucinations

83 Broad Lane, London N15
For an extra dimension in locks.

Curl Up & Dye

157 Kingston Road, New Malden
Not entirely sure what the name says about the quality of their work.

Deb ‘n’ Hair

Middlesbrough
The north-east’s answer to Vidal Sassoon.

Have It Off

Ladbroke Grove, London W10
The hardcore hairdressers.

Stupid Prick

Barcelona
Catalonia’s most in-your-face barbershop has shut down. We can’t imagine why.

First published in Bizarre 21 (1999)