Who would win a fight between an ‘armless wonder’ and a legless man?
Richard: If an Armless Wonder (someone with no arms) and a halfboy (someone with no legs,) had a fight, who would win? Please consider that both would be very used to heir handicaps.
Mike Trow: As it happens, I have quite a bit of experience of this sort of thing, and the answer is that if the contestants are both, er, unarmed, then the ‘armless wonder’ in the blue corner should win. The kicking power and weight of the legs coupled with his superior manoeuvrability mean that he should be able to kick in the ‘legless shoetree’ pretty quickly - but Armless Bloke mustn’t get complacent. If the legless one manages to grab a leg before getting booted in the face and can pull his opponent to the ground, then the tables are turned completely because the half-man’s arms provide him with superior balance and manoeuvrability on the ground - after all, standing up without using one’s hands at all is pretty tricky. In fact, it would take only a matter of moments for the powerful arms of the legless wonder to punch, throttle, bite and gouge the fight out of the armless wonder.
The only recourse the bloke with the legs has while he’s on the ground is to wrap his remaining limbs round the neck of his opponent and bash his head on the ground, keeping his own torso out of danger by using a cunning caterpillar-like motion. In summary, then, the armless bruiser should win as long as he keeps out of the way of his opponent’s arms. But if he fails to do that, the outcome of the battle is more difficult to predict.
Readers respond
Anon: In response to Richard’s question regarding a fight between an armless and a legless man: try to find a ‘70s Kung Fu flick called Crippled Masters (also known as Two Crippled Heroes). It features several fights between an armless man and a legless one.